The Secret Hiding Place: How I survived.

For the past few months—really, the past few years—I’ve been under intense pressure, constant change, and relentless uncertainty. I’m no stranger to hardship, but this has been a different BEAST. This journey has taken me on a rides I will never forget. At the beginning of chapter 36, my birthday year, I remember God saying it would be my “best year yet”… or did He say “unforgettable”? Either way, it was definitely just the beginning.

One thing is for certain: He has been with me every step of the way.

From an unexpected divorce…
To multiple moves…
To joblessness…
To bouts of depression that weighed on my chest like bricks…
To paralyzing headaches....

God remained. Constant. Present. Steady.

He didn’t just stay—He revealed Himself in new ways. In deeper ways. And as I believe this wilderness season is finally coming to an end, I can’t help but pause and ask…

How?

How have I endured all of this and still kept my sanity?
How are my children still stable—thriving, even—in their studies and sports?
How, amid pain, disappointment, and constant change… do I still have Joy?

People told me it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to seek counseling. It’s okay to feel and to cry. And they were right. I didn’t always pass the tests. I didn’t always respond with peace or grace. But I tried. I really tried. And when I couldn’t lean on others—when counseling and comfort were out of reach—I was left with one place to run. Within.

And when I asked God again, “How am I still standing?”

He whispered so simply:
“Secret Hiding Place.”

I had heard that phrase before, but I never saw myself in it. Until now.

In meditation, I heard Psalm 4:7-8:

“The intense pleasure you give me surpasses the gladness of harvest time, even more than when the harvesters gaze upon their ripened grain and when their new wine overflows. Now, because of you, Lord, I will lie down in peace and sleep comes at once, for no matter what happens, I will live unafraid."

As I meditated over this truth, I cried. I had lived that verse. People told me, “You’re so strong, Maria.” But they were only partially right. Yes, I’ve been through enough before to develop some strength—but what I faced beginning in 2019 required a different kind of muscle. A muscle I didn’t yet have. But God knew. So what did He do?

He built a sanctuary around me.
He wrapped me in peace, surrounded my children in stability, and placed a Joy in my heart that only heaven could give.

He didn’t take me out of the fire. He dwelt with me in it.

And in that place—His secret place—I rested.

Let me be clear: God’s hiding place is not a physical location. It’s not a corner in a church.
It’s His presence. It's in our Oneness.

To dwell means to live in a place. And during this season, I had no choice but to live in His presence—to dwell there. To breathe there. To cry there. To Trust There.

It’s in that hiding place that hope anchors you.
It’s where peace protects you.
It’s where the fruit of the Spirit roots and grows in the darkest soil.
It’s where you gain an eternal perspective on temporary pain.

When the world expects to see bruises, you shine with brilliance.
When life should have left you broken, you walk away full.

As Philippians 4:12 says:

“I know what it means to lack, and I know what it means to experience overwhelming abundance. For I'm trained in the secret of overcoming all things, whether in fullness or in hunger. AND I find that the strength of Christ's explosive power infuses me to conquer every difficulty.”

That strength? That training? It’s born in His secret place, within Me all along.

How Do You Dwell There?
By worship. By Gratitude. By Solitude.

Even when it hurts.
Even when tears blur the words and your arms feel heavy.
I lifted my hands anyway.
I reminded my spirit who my Father was.
I cried… but I also praised.
I surrendered fear and shame in exchange for His peace and promise.

And He always met me there.

So now, whenever I feel the enemy’s lies creeping in…
Whenever shame or fear knock at the door…
Whenever I feel myself slipping away from His presence…
I sit and listen for that soft whisper.

Not because I feel like it.
But because I know what’s waiting for me on the other side of surrender.

And every time, without fail, I leave His presence full.

My friend, I encourage you: Find His secret place. Dwell there.

He gave me this promise—and I’ll pass it on to you:

“If you get up one more time… you won’t regret it.”